what did hitler say right before he died
i did nazi that coming
just kidding hitler killed himself
(Source: caleb-denecour, via homeworkmyass)
A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it.
I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.”
I wrote this:
Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me.
Love,
Drew
(via ngyeahsquidward)
sir will you please stop doing the worm your wife is in labor
(via ngyeahsquidward)
it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn
(via ngyeahsquidward)
“paint your pinky nail blue to end bullying!”
“draw a semicolon on your wrist to end teenage suicide!”
“paint a hot dog riding a skateboard on your forehead to end the destruction of the south american rainforest!”
(via fasterfood)
iamjacks-completelack-ofsurprise:
Will Smith embarrassing Jaden has got to be one of my all time favorite things
(via homeworkmyass)
*sexually strokes wall until finding light switch*
What a turn on.
Get out.
why does everyone say get out when somebody makes a pun dont get out get in here and make more puns
(via homeworkmyass)
Reasons I grab my boobs
- running upstairs
- running downstairs
- running
- stoked on life
- scared
- walking through my house in the dark
- bored
- boobs
(via homeworkmyass)
i feel like these are definitely the 4 stages of masturbation
(via homeworkmyass)
sweet dreams are made of cheese
who am I to diss a brie
I cheddar the world and the feta cheese
(via incognito-burrito)
like there are an unlimited number of possible jokes you can make that do not rely on belittling people
(via hungarian)
